I don’t think we give enough attention to is the idea that reality itself is a kind of trauma. To encounter evil and malevolence in the world is a very frightening reality. At its extreme end, when someone within our family betrays us, it is a crippling thing to realize that there are evil people who do evil things.
A significant part of children’s literature is helping children to make sense of the reality of evil. The main thrust of these stories is that good will win in the end, which is true, but a child who does not see divine justice mirrored in the family has a hard time accepting that goodness is rewarded and evil punished.
That doesn’t mean that childhood adversity always becomes a source of disfunction in our lives as adults. Humans are able to overcome adversity, and this point is often missed by popular culture. In fact, overcoming childhood adversity can become a powerful catalyst for being successful in the world and in the spiritual life.
I would also say, that existence itself, most especially the reality of death, is the most difficult thing for us to understand and accept. I believe that this is why God, in his wisdom, often unfolds divine truth in a succession of spiritual enlightenment. It is not good for a child to dwell on their death and the horror of evil. However, for a mature disciple, it can be a powerful means of cultivating greater peace and stability.
I often discuss a common phrase that is seen in the writings of the saints. It is not uncommon in spiritual writings for a saint to dwell upon the idea “that I am a wretched sinner.” St. Alphonsus Ligouri even goes so far as to create a meditation in which we imagine our bodies decaying and being eaten by worms. Such vivid imagery would terrify a child. Likewise, a parent and parish that dwelt in such darkness might soon create an environment of disordered fear and scrupulosity.
However, someone who is emotionally mature, has deep spiritual friendships, and has made significant progress, might find great fruit in focusing on their sin. Simply put, this thought pattern in the mind of a teenager might be the sign of significant psychological stress, but in someone with stable identity and a well ordered life, it might be a powerful medicine for cultivating humility.